10 May 2008

Mother's Day 2008

Tonight I shed tears while I talked with a friend over the phone for the first time in a few weeks. She and her husband have been dear friends of ours for nearly seven years, since before Julien was born. They moved away when Tristan was a wee babe in diapers, and have never met Rosalind face to face. And they have no children of their own, yet. They have gone through the rigors of fertility specialists, and began the adoption process through China a couple of years ago. That process has slowed down (China is apparently processing adoptions filed in 2005, currently) and seems practically out of reach. So they decided to proceed with pursuing a domestic adoption, which tends to have different challenges of its own, namely, open adoption.

Imagine the emotional and financial challenges that each of those "processes" demands! Imagine the years and years of filling out paperwork, answering questionnaires, interviewing with case workers, driving long distances, requesting referrals, being properly fingerprinted, etc. Imagine the number of Mother's Days celebrated but with a longing for a child yet unfulfilled. Imagine the inappropriate, insensitive, rude or nosy comments made by people who feel they must say something. Imagine the comments never made by people who were afraid to ask any questions at all. Imagine struggling with the emotions of being happy for your fertile friends' exciting news (again and again), and still having to wait with no news, and no guarantee of good news in sight. Imagine being the couple not chosen after a second interview, and then seeing the birth mother at the next support group meeting.

I have to imagine it all, but my friend, she has been living it. It seemed at times better to not ask how things were going in that department, simply because I didn't want it to be what we always talked about. I thought perhaps she didn't always want to talk about it either. So we didn't, always. But every so often, she would let me know how things were going or if there was something about to happen to pray for her. And every so often I would ask. So I had been praying for her, whenever God would lay her on my heart. This week she was on my heart a lot. In this department, no news usually isn't good news, and we hadn't touched bases with one another in a few weeks...

(Sigh) It's not my story to tell. But I know it is a beautiful story, because my tears were tears of JOY. My friend is finally going to have a baby in her arms, by the end of next week, Lord willing! And the birth mother, who had never before known the Lord, has now also been adopted into God's family, by His saving grace.

So on this Mother's Day, I'm thinking about my Mom, and I'm thinking about myself as a Mom, and I'm thankful for my kids. But I'm thinking a lot about my friend, who has had the longest, hardest "gestational period" imaginable, and will finally begin the exciting new challenges that come with motherhood. Happy Mother's Day. And Happy Birth Mother's Day.

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